We know that living in the stepfamily is a very complicated situation. And it is highly confusing and discombobulating for our kids as well.
I was reading another article or blog where the author referred to blended families . Well most of you know my thoughts about using the term blended instead of step.
Blended suggest that the process is easy and that everyone will just fit together without any lumps bumps or unsightly clumps that occur.
Well we all know that ain't going to true!
Stepfamilies are all about colliding desires and conflicting needs - which leave bumps, bruises, and wounded hearts.
So for example a four-year-old is moving into a stepfamily. She will have a stepmother or stepfather she will have a stepbrother, or stepsister and they will be called stepsiblings.
She did not have a blended mother or a blended father she does not have a blended sister or blended brother. So why or why is her family called a blended family???? Why is this--or any other-- child entering a stepfamly be confused by our self inflicted identify crisis?
Wouldn't be ever so much easier for children if we used consistency in our terms?
Yes , unfortunatgely there are a host of negative stereotypical ideas about stepfamilies.
A sense of stigma attached to the term stepmom... we have our fairy tails and folklore to blame for the stigmatization of stepfamilies. So best stop kids from hearing or reading fairy tales.
But it's time we stood up to be counted, to be proud of who we are and to put aside our identity conflicts and proudly proclaimed that we are
Stepparents, stepmom, stepdad, stepbrothers stepsisters,
step-grandparents and step-aunties and step-uncles.
Take care my Friends
Dianne Martin - Stepmom and Advocate
March 13, 2016